I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
