It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
