I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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