found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
