I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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