Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
