dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
