I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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