There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
