guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
