I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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