i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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