that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
