doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
