so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
how drunk are you?
Several
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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