Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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