Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
