Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
