This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You can't motorboat a personality
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
