do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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