I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
