He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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