They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
