no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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