Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
