yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
