And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
