My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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