The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
