And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
