Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
