You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
