Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
