I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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