Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
