Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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