well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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