Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize