i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
