I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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