You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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