Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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