Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
