dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
