i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
