No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
