he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize