Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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