it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize