it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
