I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
