hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize