Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
