please come you make the beer taste better
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize