glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
