im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
